I might not be a perfect person. Nobody is. I did a lot of mistakes in the past. I used to to put my trust to people instead of Allah, being ungrateful with my life and I had bad relationship with people (hablumminannas) since I tend to be alone or mingle with the people that i know only. I admit I used to hate usrah or halaqah. I hurt so many people's feeling dalam sedar atau tidak.. Bila jauh daripada keluarga dan tiada manusia untuk diharapkan baru rasa pergantungan kepada Allah itu lebih baik daripada pergantungan kepada manusia. Pergantungan kepada Allah itulah pergantungan sebenar-benarnya.
Last Ramadhan taught me a lot of things. No doubt that Ramadhan is a good taybiyah for us. Ulama' said, if we don't change into a better person after Ramadhan, then we should reflect ourselves. Alhamdulillah, I have a good friend who is willing to share her knowledge with me and Allah gives me the best kakak usrah ever. They never failed to share their knowledge with me until today.
My nenek passed away in last Ramadhan and that was the biggest ujian for me.Ramadhan taught me to be patient and strong. Not only that, last Ramadhan changed my perception and belief towards many things. I learned how to fight anger and be more calm if Allah gives me ujian by being grateful with other nikmah. If one person hates me, it doesn't mean other people will hate me too and the most important thing is to please Allah, not human beings. I used to hate people but I learned, it didn't bring me good at all. Kemarahan dan kebencian permainan syaitan. I don't want to be a part of syaitan's trick. Plus, Allah with assobirin. Ramadhan changed me. I know there are lot more I need to improve like my hijab, my social life and so on but right now, I just don't want to be the old me. I want to put my trust to Allah.
Allah gave me another small ujian to me lately but if this is the way He wants to remind me about my dosa in the past, I'm glad. Alhamdulillah. Allah still loves me. He wants to test me and He wants me to remember Him .
I cried a lot today because I got too carried away with matters in life. Silly me. Padahal itu baru ujian yang kecil. We can't please everyone, kadang kala kita tak tahu pun silap kita di mana .Allah knows everything. Even it hurts, Allah knows better. He has a better plan. He knows our pain better than we do. There's nothing in this world last forever including the pain. Allah itu Maha Kuat dan pemberi kekuatan.
Sabarlah. Allah bersama dengan orang-orang yang sabar.