crazy,sweet dream.

for a while, i lived in a dream. i forgot we actually live in  a world of worst case scenario. happiness is actually a key to sorrow and sadness. all the positive vibes are actually killing me softly. don't ever put your trust to this world, i remind myself.  people betray you. people change. no matter how you think the person is the best for you, no matter how you think your friend is the best , no matter how much you love someone, don't ever and ever give your heart and trust to them, again, i remind myself. for a while, i lived in a dream. it was a nice, crazy yet sweet dream. still, it was a dream. you know, we should stop ourselves from hoping for the best because most of the times, the best thing doesn't happen.

i don't know if i can trust you. i want to to trust you but i don't know if i do. but i'm trying. or i'm done trying.










p.s: heart, let's take a break.

Germany. Day 4 and 5

 "you go first."

"no.you go first."

 we were like this  every morning.

after wechecked out from our hostel we start our journey to Frankfurt from Munich.

we stopped for a cup of coffee. actually, that was our original plan. however. we ended up having Tom Yam and rice too. my big tummy. :D

"guys, seriously? Tom Yam in Germany? we are going back to Malaysia next week!"
"you can have something else if you want."

no, she had tom yam too. ;)

vegetarian tom yam.

 we even had dessert there. pulut pisang. it looked a bit weird but it's nice. or we'r just too hungry. -.-'

tengah-tengah highway tiba-tiba muncul restaurant Thai. Asians, we can survive everywhere.

 we stopped at Koblanz which is  a  small town  and 1 hour from Frankfurt. since we arrived there at  8 p.m, there's nothing much to do there. it's a small and pretty town along  Rhine Valley.

Day 5 : we went to Berlin from Frankfurt early in the morning. Nabilah and Syamim  flew to London from Berlin on the next day while the rest of us spent 2 days in Berlin.

on the way to Berlin, as usual, we needed fooooood. we were in the 'balas dendam' phase, (because we did not really eat during the exam weeks) so yeah, we ate a lot.

 my vegetarian burger.

 i LOVE flower field there.

 Masyaallah.

car cleanliness is very important, oqeh?

 along the journey, we saw this

 and this

 and this

 and when i turned right, i saw this 'view'.  -.-'  shanaz, peace!

we saw this. finally, we'r in Berlin!! after we checked in,( and changed my pants), we went to see Berlin City.

The Berlin Wall.

and the next day, at 4 a.m, Syamim and Nabilah left Berlin for London.

something funny happened. the next morning,  we couldn't find our toothpaste . so, i went out to find toothpaste (without brushing my teeth. i know..-.-') at nearest shop. when i was crossing the road, there was this one  man who happened to sip his morning tea or coffee at the other side of the road and he  shouted at me,
" Go back to your f****** Arab country!"

 "dude, i'm not from there.why should i go back there?"

"oh really? can i buy you coffee?"


-.-'







p.s: my nephew can't stop singing JB's song. what happened to twinkle-twinkle little star? or Barney and Friends show? while,my niece starts to learn to play piano and guitar. What happened to Barbie Dolls? my nephew is not even 2 years old and my niece is 5 years old. -.-'
ok, i should start packing now. and i hate it.

life is like ECG

i was talking to my friend on phone for hours (i didn't go out and talking to human beings  face-to face except my parents for days now. it's really 'summer' outside. so, i socialize through phone and internet). she called me right after she read my previous post just to ask if everything is fine or not. being me, i don't really talk about my problem to other people ( i gave my shrink hard time because of this. Oh God, i'm talking about my shrink again. i usually hate don't like him. trust me). anyway, she did say something like this,

"i know you have a trust issue and you don't really share your problem but hey, many people care about you. stop punishing yourself! Ok listen, life has its ups and downs. you know, just like ECG. if it becomes flat, it means you are dead. not necessarily laaa but ah, you know what i mean,right? "

life is like ECG? medical student. -.-' we spent half of semester learning about ECG and it's hard. heart is such a complex organ! i hope one day someone will come out with simpler technique. anyway, if life is like ECG, i think i'm having tachycardia now and  the main cause of sudden death is tachycardia (ventricular). -.-'


ok, enough about medical stuff. i'm having my summer break. *put my shades on*




thank you for calling me,anyway. you know who you are.






p.s: tomorrow i'm going to meet someone from jabatan agama islam for our project. so, hello Mr. Sun. please don't be so bright.

to two people that i can't live without.

it is a terrible pain when I'm not able to say what i feel to people that i love the most because it will hurt them and hurting them is the last thing i want to do in this world. other than Allah, i try my best every single day to be the best person to them too . only He knows how i want to be 'perfect' to them but I'm young and i know i make wrong decisions all the times.

but now, i know what i want and I'm sure this is the best for me. I don't want to be a girl who loves someone with no purpose because i know it's wrong. this is a serious decision and it is not that i want to play around. eh hello, i almost lost a friend  with this decision.  I try so hard to please everyone and prove to them that I've made a right decision but things keep falling apart. 

why can't it be easy for me? why do you guys have to be at two different ends of the spectrum? why do you guys have to put me in the middle? why can't you guys make it easy for me? why? like i said, I'm young. i have a lot of 'why' in my head. like you always say,you guys are so-called adult or older people and me, just a child, why don't you guys behave like how adults should behave?

I'm not blaming anyone. in facts, I'm a girl who blames myself for everything.( i feel sorry to my shrink because he couldn't change this part of me. ah, now i miss talking to him) with all these things, i can't stop blaming myself too. my self-destructive button is sensitive. can't help.

oh God. help me.

i miss someone that i can talk to without judging me. 

p.s : hate me if you want. not my mom.

Germany. Day 3

CAUTION : another long post with a lot of photos.

Day 3 : we went to Europa Park which is located in Rust, the South-West of Germany. it took almost 4 hours from Munich by driving. just before heading to the theme park, we stocked up our food supply and turn our car into a food cabinet like this :

 the co-pilot of the day.

i have to admit i don't really like theme park because i hate screaming, height and fast things or in other words, i hate amusement rides or roller coaster. when we arrived at Europa Park, the first thing we saw was this:

and people park their cars under that 'thing'. OMG!
Arif, Syamim, Shanaz and Nabilah were so excited to try the ride and i was shivering by just looking at it from far.

"do they have cafes or something like marry-go-round inside there?"
"pray hard, aisyah."

 Europa Park is divided into 15 sections based on European countries or regions and the park is famous for their roller coasters.

i was looking for 'something like marry-go-around' in the map while others were busy looking for the most extreme ride to try. -.-'

while Arif was so busy studying the map, i found this guy, 

 they decided to try Mercedes Benz's ride which is the fastest ride there and of course, i didn't join them .

 i rather enjoyed my coffee here, thank you.

 just to be fair, they agreed to try this with me. by just looking at Syamim's face expression, you already knew the speed of this ride.

"it's awesome, right?"
"seriously, aisyah? like freaking seriously? you call that awesome? you need to re-define your 'awesome', woman!"

 Arif convinced me to try a ride from Sweden. man, it was freaking  fast and i cried after this ride. yes, i was the girl who cried in the theme park.

"guys, whatever happens here, stays here."
"ok.."


5 minutes after we left the park,

"hahaha. i can't believe you cried after the ride."

-.-'

" i don't understand how a mushroom can make people fly. ridiculous."
" and i don't understand how some people can cry in the theme park."

-.-'

 and again, they were excited to try another ride.

oh God! you will be upside down.

they tried that one too. it is called Wodan.

 i was like " oh God. no way." they were like " Oh God look at that. we are soooo gonna ride that!"

 well, i found my happiness by just looking at those children running in their diapers here.

i can't understand how some people can be so happy by screaming on those rides. i found my happiness with ice-cream 

 and peanuts.

 while they were screaming on the rides, i decided to try this:

it was fun but they didn't tell me they'r going to splash water from above. i didn't look normal in my wet tudung. seriously.

 since Arif's biggest fear is ghost, i forced him to go inside this Ghost's House. at first he said, " fine, i'll scream like a girl for you." after a while, he screamed for real. sweet revenge!

 it's the time to try the food we bought.

 mine looked so nice.

 "I don't share my ice-cream!"

we found out later, there was only cream but no ice. it's not an ice-cream but a super sweet dessert with cream.

-.-'

churros cheers!

us.

people, Miss Germany 2012!

so much win, Syamim!

then, we went back to Munich and the next day we headed to Frankfurt.

p.s: 

i don't understand his love towards chocolate. seriously. oh, i miss him already.