one of those weeks

syamim and i used to call it as 'one of those days'. you know, one day, you wake up and nothing goes right. but now, it's getting worse. i proudly call it as 'one of those weeks' and syamim won't like it because one week is longer than one day. daaaa, obviously, babe!

last Saturday i made a mistake and as a consequence, something quite bad happened. i was quite traumatized but i thought it's going to be just all right after that. "since Dublin is my home for now, i can tolerate that." i said that to myself. it took a few days ( 2 days je pun) for me to 'recover'. after 2 days, i think  life must go on. sampai bila nak pergi mana-mana berteman? i prefer to be on my own.

then, something happened during class.oh well, it happens almost everyday to some extent.. 'mampus la'.

and my place? the kitchen? the toilet?sampah? ( we have to pay 9 euro for 3 bags of rubbish, for god's sake!) arghhhhhhh after a long day in hospital. arhhhh. and now, i'm the 'Si Cerewet.'  so, who is the ' Si Pengotor'? ok, now it sounds so childish. arhhh call me cerewet or whatever. people always see me as the 'bad person', anyway.

and last night, a random, brutal-looking man stopped me while i was walking and texting.

"give me your phone! give me your wallet."

i was like, ok, now what? what's next? i know, it's wrong to have that kind of thought. sinful.

"give me you phone. money!"

i didn't know what to do. i was too tired. emotionally and physically. reciting ayat kursi silently. and i was expecting a knife from him. i looked at him for a few moment. and he left. he just left. walked away. like nothing happened.  i was quite confused like " what was that?" but at the same time, thank you allah. alhamdulillah.

i ran and the next thing i knew, i was in front of the library. then i walked home. i told my friend who was apparently texting me to borrow my pencil. i know, right? -.-'

" ........ i was expecting a knife or something.hahaha"

"mende kau nih?kalau hulur pisau tu bahaya la."

and then, all sorts of feeling came. i was so in shock sampai lupa password phone.

***

"i'm fine."

"i know. alhamdulillah. but you are not fine."

"what, why?

"normal people won't expect a knife. a knife that can kill you! people run. people run!"

"i ran."

that's what i'm doing all this times.