just another Sunday

exam in another 2 weeks. my mom said, "why ah it's always 2 weeks? i asked you last 2 weeks, you also said another 2 weeks. by right you are sitting for your exam now. i guess when i ask you again next week you are gonna say 'another 2 weeks' again.haih."  hahahah, opsss! but really, exam in another 2 weeks. 

after my family tortured me by skyping while they were eating nasi kerabu and daging bakar and ikan celup tepung and telur masin  dengan penuh kegembiraan dan gelak ketawa. ( while i was in my duvet waiting for subuh at 4:30 a.m. perut kosong some more), i did my routine before studying i.e check my color pencils. yes, Luna,Staedtler  Color Pencils because i hate using colorful pens to write my own notes. and i lost my purple color pencils.

"i lost my purple colored pencils. :'( "

"oh no! that's a 'huge' problem, aisyah. how are you supposed to color your Barney the purple dinosaur after this?"

-.-'

it's your hormone talking now. not you. i understand.

see! no purple. i cannot do my work now.

since they had nasi kerabu, i had this for my lunch;

Bruschetta  for starter

 ineedanewcamera 1

 ineedanewcamera 2.

say, uuuuuu

i managed to finish the pasta because of its small portion . yeay! clever ah this uncle. he made 'lunch offer - 2 meals for 9.90 euro'. tapi ciput gila.

***

en.wonderwall claims my drawing skills is worse than my niece since i always write the clues instead of drawing in DrawSome. ( because i see 'draw' as 'write' ). so, today i showed him my real drawing skill. i tried to draw his face.

 this is him

this is what i call 'my art'. 

i drew this on whatsapp's doodle thingy. ( yes, whatsapp can doodle). 

close enough.

but i think i should draw smaller eyes though. kahkahkah.

( i'm pretty sure he won't play his guitar for me again after reading this)

back to reality,

ok, now, where is my green colored pencil ?

whiny baby

do you know what is more frustrating than knowing Ben and Jerry Ice cream contains alcohol (and now you don't know what to eat on Friday night in your favorite jumper on you bed)?

having short attention span.

i know..right?

but i cried the whole night (day) just because i could not focus and it hurt whenever i pushed myself to focus. it is not something that you can't focus because you want to play video games or watch Walking Dead or  Big Bang Theory or you want to eat ice cream. no! it worse than that. whenever i try to focus on one thing, my vision will blur and i'll have this massive headache. i thought it's just the caffeine withdrawal symptom since my GP asked me to stop taking coffee, but it turns out to be one of the side effects of the medication that i'm taking now. T_T

"i think i want to stop taking those meds la.. what do you think?"

"sure, if you wanna die."

-.-'  not helping at all.

it hurts to just sit in the bus for 2 hours every day. it hurts to sit and focus in lecture hall every freaking day. it hurts to stare at my laptop writing this entry. let me be a whiny patient just for today. let me be. T_T

because tomorrow i'll throw all those tablets. sorry, doc. ( i understand if one day my patient will do the same thing. karma is a bitch)

***

my Sunday

my favorite place to study and i can't believe i ordered hot chocolate at Costa. no more hazelnut mocha or vanilla latte. 

still, i couldn't focus.

at nabilah's place for pathology discussion

  Germany trip discussion and i couldn't stop eating 

"Germany doesn't have speed limit?" semua orang ternganga depan laptop.

by the way, is it true?

i should keep myself away from other people because i'm getting crankier and annoying. so people, take care of you blood and take adequate iron. 

i heart Friday night

everyone was so kiasu preparing for the mock exam last week which turned out to be a 'troll'? so, mr.exam. you are so 'funny'. i swear to God, you are so 'funny'.uh. anyway, thanks for making us study.

to make our friday night more 'meaningful', we went out for dinner and movie. Mitsuba is another Japanese restaurant in Dublin that has awesome seafood ramen. it's SPICY seafood ramen. they don't lie when the say spicy because it's really spicy. chili spicy not wasabi spicy. so, Yamamori, i love you for your sushi now. not because of your seafood ramen anymore. and Yo! Sushi, keep your 20 euro deal because that's the only reason why i adore you. and now i realize, i love Japanese food. but nothing can beat my mom's nasi kerabu. o.0

"do you know, what we learned in our text books from standard 1 to form 5 are all lies?"

*krikkrik*

"so, arif you mean photosynthesis, solar system and all sorts of things, are not real in our text books?"

"ok, look how we learn our cardiovascular system works now and compare with the one we learned in form 5."

"dude, that's what we call tertiary education!"

a few minutes after that,

" unagi is a sea creature."

"but it can live in river as well or even sawah padi."

"sawah padi comes from sea."

syamim and i were like, "NO!! ok, that's what we call a lie, arif. no wonder you said our textbooks are all lies. grow up, not everything comes from the sea."

"how about this table, where does it comes from?"

"soil."

and again me and syamim were like "NO! it comes from trees."

"but trees come from soil?"

and i started to make 9gag- Jackie-Chan meme's-face-expression- WTF.

then Ash menyampuk, "Allah creates trees,soils and sea."

everyone was speechless and continue to eat silently. 

-.-'

textbooks-all-lies discussion

 arif was trying so hard to look cute with the unagi roll but sorry,dude.

my extra spicy seafood ramen

i don't know how our friendship works like this but it works. -.-'

controversial unagi. 

everything-is-from-sea guy.

then another funny question later that night, after watching Battleship ( what i can learn from the movie is, aliens do have beard )

"see, they only show how navy,army, engineers, scientist save the world. where are the doctors?"

"the doctors are just too busy treating diabetic and hypertensive patients in hospital. anddd...we don't do aliens!"

-.-'

my friends.

***

"i understand you hate make up, but woman, you need new tops. go shopping!"

why me no urge to shop?

 Tops kat zara tengah sale.

eskem

in library,

"everyone is serious and kiasu here.no one wants to play with me."
"go play Draw Something."
"i'm not good at it.let's eat ice cream?"



Shanaz never say no when i ask for ice cream.

i love her

and ice-cream.

it's about time

my mom said, "now you are 22 ( ehemm not yet), it's about time to get serious."  my dad said, "start planning your future seriously." so, when both my parents use word 'serious' at the same time, i guess this is really errr...serious? o.0


i skyped (it should be a verb) my sister in law 2 days ago ;

"babe, i need to plan my future seriously."
"how serious is your seriousness?"
"it's freaking serious."
"ok, it sounds serious."
"i told you it is serious."

and...we keep talking about how serious is my seriousness like that without talking about my future plan pun.

-.-'

and this little fella came. his face looked more serious than us.

anddd it's getting more and more 'serious'. he cried because we were too 'serious'.

***

"i have a plan for my future"

"what?"

"i don't want to work after i graduate. stay at home and cook.

"seriously?"

"yes,we have to be serious now."

next morning. on Saturday.

"where are you?"

"office."

"but it's saturday!"

"kena buat duit sebab my future wife tak nak kerja."

ok. ini serius yang kita mahu.

nayy, it lasts just for a while. -.-'

***

"list barang yang dia nak, tema warna  awak dan dia!"

'tema warna'. hahaha.mama..mama..

and now i realize THIS IS SERIOUS!

ok now back  to less serious matter i.e study. Gosh, this is more serious! and depressing.

one of those weeks

syamim and i used to call it as 'one of those days'. you know, one day, you wake up and nothing goes right. but now, it's getting worse. i proudly call it as 'one of those weeks' and syamim won't like it because one week is longer than one day. daaaa, obviously, babe!

last Saturday i made a mistake and as a consequence, something quite bad happened. i was quite traumatized but i thought it's going to be just all right after that. "since Dublin is my home for now, i can tolerate that." i said that to myself. it took a few days ( 2 days je pun) for me to 'recover'. after 2 days, i think  life must go on. sampai bila nak pergi mana-mana berteman? i prefer to be on my own.

then, something happened during class.oh well, it happens almost everyday to some extent.. 'mampus la'.

and my place? the kitchen? the toilet?sampah? ( we have to pay 9 euro for 3 bags of rubbish, for god's sake!) arghhhhhhh after a long day in hospital. arhhhh. and now, i'm the 'Si Cerewet.'  so, who is the ' Si Pengotor'? ok, now it sounds so childish. arhhh call me cerewet or whatever. people always see me as the 'bad person', anyway.

and last night, a random, brutal-looking man stopped me while i was walking and texting.

"give me your phone! give me your wallet."

i was like, ok, now what? what's next? i know, it's wrong to have that kind of thought. sinful.

"give me you phone. money!"

i didn't know what to do. i was too tired. emotionally and physically. reciting ayat kursi silently. and i was expecting a knife from him. i looked at him for a few moment. and he left. he just left. walked away. like nothing happened.  i was quite confused like " what was that?" but at the same time, thank you allah. alhamdulillah.

i ran and the next thing i knew, i was in front of the library. then i walked home. i told my friend who was apparently texting me to borrow my pencil. i know, right? -.-'

" ........ i was expecting a knife or something.hahaha"

"mende kau nih?kalau hulur pisau tu bahaya la."

and then, all sorts of feeling came. i was so in shock sampai lupa password phone.

***

"i'm fine."

"i know. alhamdulillah. but you are not fine."

"what, why?

"normal people won't expect a knife. a knife that can kill you! people run. people run!"

"i ran."

that's what i'm doing all this times.

Trust me, im not a doctor.

I bumped into mr.janitor yesterday. He was cleaning up our 'red carpet'.

"hi sweetheart."
"hellooo."
"from college?"
"no,from hospital."
"hospital? You are a doctor now?"
"no.no."
"so what are you doing in the hospital."
"we go there for classes.you know?"
"you go to class in college or school,not hospital. You are a doctor now.just like hafsah( my senior who is apparently a doc here and used to live here for 3 years)"
"no,im not.trust me.i go to hospital to learn."
"life is a learning process. Oh my god,you are a doc now"

T____T

I swear to God,im not.

At least he is a good cleaner.

dinding tanya saya

i whatssapped ( sejak bila entah this app becomes a verb) en.wonderwall,

" i just installed Draw Something."

"good."

"no one wants to play with me. :("

"let's play."

after a while,

"tak dapat pun."

"ada la. i draw to (insert his fb name). unless you changed your fb name to something else."

"haah. i changed."

"seriously?"

"i changed to ' (insert my name)'s lover'. ;p "

and the next thing i knew, someone who was sitting next to me said,

"did you just smile to your phone?"

"no, i didn't."

"yes, you did. you smiled to your freaking phone. oh my god, you'r blushing too."

and he was just a random guy in the library who happened to sit next to me in the library yesterday. gosh! mind your own business, will you? 

meanwhile,

i love this picture . it makes me feel like i'm not in Dublin, somehow. with ayam bakar and kain pelikat and semak-samun . i know, i'm such a kampung girl. thank you guys!

ok,now back to reality. and iron tablets. T__T

p.s: kakak rindu mama. :'( can we just forget about that? i don't know what to do... and i need you. 

the worst feeling is

when you want to talk to your mom, but you can't reach her.
when you miss your loved one damn much, but nothing you can do.
when you need to study, but you can't because you can't control your homesickness.
when you hate the place but you have to stay there for another 3 freaking years or more.
when you have to stay strong but you are not that strong.
when you need someone to listen but you have no one you can trust to.
when you know you are losing someone but you can't do anything about it.
when you don;t know how to tell people how you feel.











p.s: psychotic man, you make me hate this place even worse.

The place i come from

Whenever i say i come from 'the place i come from', they will start making weird face expressions and make fun of it.some even say, "i hate people from 'the place u come from'." simply hate me like that. No matter how hard i work, how far i go, people always see me as a girl from ' the place i come from'. And the worst part is, nobody actually understand how i feel. Even the closest person to me make fun of it.and all i can do is crying alone. in bath tub.

it's good

to know you are here because i miss you.