Monday, November 2, 2015

Life at 18

I was about to write 'Light Writing 7' but suddenly a girl who used to be my belangkas when were in college asked me if we can Skype. So, we had a quite long conversation and it somehow reminded me of our time during college where we used to stay up and just talked and talked about anything. We are still close now but time and place drifted us apart, I guess. I was in Ireland and she was in another part of the world. Now, both of us already graduated from medical school and both of us are expecting! Isn't that great? 

"Hey remember back in college I was the one who always had problematic and pathetic relationship and you were like 'I  couldn't care less about boys'?"

HAHA! It 's true. We can't help but just laugh. Man, it was like what, 5 or 6 years ago? We were young and stupid and reckless. Not like any other people in the college who always berkepit dengan boyfriend masing-masing 24/7 yucks, we pretty much spent our time with our own things in our own world together. We came from the same hometown, we speak the same dialect (which I knew some people didn't like us for this but heck, we didn't care at all), we laughed at jokes that can only be understood by us. I think the only fun and good memory I had about my college was this girl. 

"Remember when you said, we are gonna be old and no one wants to marry us and we will end up doing IVF at the age of 40 to make babies?"

HAHA! We talked about this after one of our friends actually said to me that if I don't have a boyfriend before going abroad to study( that time we were doing our IB diploma), I will end up being an anak dara tua.  She said it with a bitchy tone. I still remember it was an awkward conversation we had during our dinner time at our Dewan Selera. That's how I came up with the idea of IVF. HAHAHA! No worries, I'm happily married now and pregnant without any help of IVF, Alhamdulillah.  Oh that girl who said that me? I don't know, we were not too close but I heard she is not married yet. Moral of the story, don't be a bitch. Kidding.

Anyway, many things can change after you are 18 or 19. Adik-adik, if you think your life is everything when you are 18, sadly, you are wrong. That's okay to be a bit rebellious and rasa kononnya dewasa sikit but I tell you what, that is all your trashy hormone talking. At the age of 18 or 19 you were driven by your testosterone or oestrogen. Tak payah nak gedik-gedik nak kahwin la even though you are at the legal age to get married now. Trust me, I know a lot of people who ended up marrying someone else not their high school boyfriend or girlfriend. A lot of things can happen at this age. You have so many potentials and ideas. Testostrone and oestrogens are not all bad. I mean other than acne, they make you think the impossible is possible.  18 it is the time for you to build your self-confidence and finding yourself, to get to know your passion, you know. One thing I wish I did when I was 18, to use all my potentials, be more confident and ignore what people say about me. I was so consumed battling with my low self-esteem when I was 18 and it dragged me down in so many levels. I also lived with other people expectation and too worried about what people say. 
Take home point is, if you think you are a loser or pathetic at the age of 18, trust me dik, your life in not over. Andddd...tak payah nak gedik-gedik bercinta, nak bergetar tulang rusuk kiri sangatlah. Tak ke mananya semua itu. When you are 24 or 25, then you can start to talk about relationship and getting married.

It took me a few more years after that to learn that life is more than what people say about you. Life is more than what you were during 18. Life is about loving yourself more than begging anyone else to love you. Life is more than a 'cheap' relationship. Life is about giving as much as you can. Life is about taking the risk. Life is about commitment. Life is about being the best servant to Allah not to people.

Good luck of being 18!

Ps: I have my job interview in another 2 weeks. After almost 6 months of hiatus from medical world, this is not an easy interview for me. Please pray for me. 

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