Welcome to my cafe.

Since I love to hang out at cafe so much and the food there is not free, I try to save money by cooking my favorite cafe-ish food. Plus, Syamim is no longer here to eat tuna melt and drink chai latte with me for breakfast.

Homemade crepe tuna melt. I know the crepe looks a bit weird but that doesn't affect the taste.heh.

Homemade pancakes with vanilla ice cream and you have no idea how hard for me to make nice,fluffy,round pancakes like that. It usually end up as lempeng.  -.-'

Spicy tuna sushi sandwich roll.

My masterpiece. heh. Buttered mushroom with mozzarella cheese and salad. 

I start to be creative with my drinks too. Just had my homemade vanilla chai latte ( got the recipe from someone) and also green tea latte for supper.

Now, I can't sleep. -.-'

p.s: just booked flight tickets and hotel in Amsterdam and Budapest. I'm going to travel alone this time. Wish me luck! 

A bittersweet goodbye

Whenever someone is leaving, I always think I have to start all over again. You know, adapting after the loss. I feel like some part of me is leaving with them. Okay, that might sounds pretty dramatic. Let's just say,I'm not good in saying goodbye. I hate watching people walk away from me. No matter how hard you try to make 'leaving' looks like a positive thing, you can't change the fact that things won't be the same once people leave. People change all the times. Leaving is hard but losing is even harder.

Well, put the sad part aside. *lap hingus sat*

I tried to spend as much time as I could with Shanaz and Syamim before they left for good. A few days before Shanaz went back, we went to our favorite place to eat cakes and reminiscing our 2.5 years memories like an old couple trying to remember things happened in their 40 years marriage. -.-'

"Hey remember how we surprised you on your first birthday here in Ireland?"

"Oh yeah, we went to Korean barbecue and we walked in cold to my place."

"That was so cold and we had sleepover at your place. The next morning all of us were so excited watching snow from your window."

"Our first snow in Dublin and you made us pancakes. No, lempeng."

"Yes... our first and worst snow ever."

"Still..it is a sweet memory."

 Our last date in Dublin.

Then, we went to vintage market together.

My pretty Shanaz.

Since the boys started their clinical rotation at different hospitals (while me and Nabilah are having 'fun' with our research which requires us to be in hospital twice a week only!) it's very hard to gather 6 of us until last weekend. We went to Accent Cafe which is Syamim's favorite place to get Chai Latte. 

People with  Iphone, Ipad or whatnot. 

People with food as their gadgets.

As long as we have our food, we are good. We don't need instagram,right ,babe?

We kept talking until a waiter asked us to leave. Then, we decided to have milkshake at Eddie's Rocket because they need more pictures for their instagram. No, just joking. heh.

We had so much fun that night.

"Remember how we drove in Portugal?"

"One time in Porto we almost got hit by a tram.Hahaha!"

"uh-uh remember when we missed our flight to Germany?

"Aisyah asked me to be her maid of honor in Brussels's HardRock Cafe.Boleh tak??Of all the places?

(haha. I did ask her to be my maid of honor in Hard Rock Cafe. ok,what?)

Remember this..remember that... until 1 a.m.

I never realized we had so many great crazy stories together. After all, we are not just a bunch of nerds.

The next morning, we had breakfast together at Metro Cafe.

 Regardless her face expression, the food was good. 

Syamim went back today and before boarding, she sent us a text,

"Thank you for everything guys. It all started with initiative to have study group. Never knew that would blossom into a beautiful friendship. Don't worry we will meet up as  successful doctors. That time, boleh makan banyak expensive French cuisine without having to swallow any babi.haha. All the best there. Keep in touch. Or....I'll kill you guys."

Ah,that babi part.

Here is something about life. Neither laugh or tears will last forever. 

P.s: I love you both so much! :')

The owner of a lonely heart.

I got a text from my little cousin (she is 17. Not so little anymore, I guess) this morning, telling me she wants to study medicine in  Dublin so bad because she thinks I have a wonderful life here solely based on what I wrote in this blog .Wanting to do medicine is one thing, having an idea that I have a wonderful and happy-all-the-time- life here is just..haih..

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

Dear my little cousin who is not so little anymore,

First of all, how did you find my blog? Secondly, have you read all my previous entries that are so depressing and annoying? My life here is not always revolving around vintage cafes and travelling. Oh, dear. If only you know how my life really is. Studying medicine is one thing, being a grown up ( which you don't want to) and have to go on with you life alone in a foreign city is another whole thing. I know you are a brilliant student and you can study whatever course you want but if you want to do medicine just for the sake of going abroad and have a 'wonderful' life, I think you are about to do the biggest mistake in your life. Medicine 'steals' everything from you like your time ( 2 years of preparation to fly abroad plus 5 years in medical school. 7 years!), your energy ( I lost kilos during exam week and say hello to depression), your social life ( after a while, you will notice almost all your friends are people you meet at medical school or other medical schools or some doctors).

Other than lectures and wards rounds,sitting in front of my supervisor computer extracting information from database is my new 'job'. 

You think your life as 17 year old girl is sucks and you can't stand your parents and siblings at home who you feel they are breathing under your nose sucking up all your oxygen? Let kakak tell you this, currently I'm living alone and away from my other Malaysian friends. All my neighbours are local people who don't give a shit about my life even when  I'm screaming my lungs out for help. All I have are Allah and a cap-ayam phone in  my hand (and oh En.Wonderwall on skype) if anything happens. You know what, there is nothing more I want right now other than my parents to protect me and my siblings to talk to and I don't care anymore if they are breathing under my nose. Sometimes, I wish the wall can talk to me.Living in fear,worry and loneliness everyday is not a wonderful life, I guess. Please appreciate your time with your parents and siblings at home because you don't want to be like me now who cry everyday before sleep or even in my sleep wishing they are here so that I don't have to be alone in fear.
If you think I always eat at fancy restaurants and eat good food just because I blog about it, you are wrong. I blog about good food at fancy restaurant because most of the times I eat crap. Like just now, I have nothing to eat and no more rice left plus I'm too sick or rather too lazy to go to buy and bring back 5 kg of beras alone. Then I made myself cekodok and that, ladies and gentlemen, my meal of the day (I really need to buy beras tomorrow. I feel like I'm living in a war now).

Well, not everything is bad  about medicine and studying abroad . Everyone has ups and downs in life . I also have those moment when I need reasons to go on with everything here. I need hope to move on and with absence of reasons and hope, I just stay in bed and feel like I might die today but we cannot find peace by avoiding life. Life goes on, anyway.


So, yeah, you are 17, so young and ambitious. Explore all the options you have. Don't rush. Life is not like rainbows in a jar. If you have option not to grow up, choose that option.







Now, I'm hungry.Argh.

My love story

Well, if you are expecting a romantic, sweet love story, you can click the 'x' button and close this tab. I'm just going to write my love story with coffee now. For those who are not interested you can close this tab. Bye-bye. 

So yeah, I'm a big fan of coffee. Not the black one or espresso,though. I enjoy my long term 'relationship' with Mocha and once a while I have a 'scandal' with green tea and 'fling' with hot chocolate during winter. Since Dublin (and I bet all the European countries) has many nice cafes, I always prefer to study at any random cafes during weekend especially during my first and second year here. Apparently, Syamim and Shanaz have the same 'hobby' like me. We love cafes here. Now, I'm confuse. Do I actually love coffee or cafe eh? 0.o

These are among the cafes in Dublin and European countries that I've been before:

Queen of Tart Cafe. They have the best carrot cake in town. I love how they decorate the cafe. So vintage and Paris-ish.

We  went there last Friday for our evening tea ( I had coffee,though ).

Latte from The Humble Bean Cafe in Aungier Street, Dublin 2. It is 2 doors away from my previous apartment. 

Mocha from Metro Cafe at William Street,Dublin 2. I love their tuna melt too.

This strawberry tart from Laduree Cafe in Paris. Usually, people go there for their macaroons but I had this because this was the cheapest in the menu (still, it was 6 euro for a small piece of tart.pftttt)

The most expensive cafe I've ever been. (Paris. What do you expect? ) -.-'

Ah, nothing can beat 1 euro coffee at Balem, Lisbon. We sipped our coffee while enjoying the view. 

The Majestic Cafe in Porto, Portugal.

People still go there at night.

I had this at the cafe. Americano coffee with vanilla ice-cream. I was supposed to wait for the ice-cream to melt into the coffee but life is too short for that. I just ate the ice-cream and drink the coffee simultaneously. 

One of the cafes at Gamla Stan, Stockholm, Sweden.

Stockholm.

Still in Stockholm.

 I can't remember the name of this cafe but I had these in Berlin.

Near the Neuschwanstein Castle,Barvaria, Germany.

At home, hazelnut old town coffee is my favorite. I brought a few packets all the way from Malaysia because I couldn't find it in Dublin before. Recently, I found it at Asian Market. I literally jumped at the shop like a crazy woman. Sigh. That was embarrassing. I really hope they have  Neslo 3 in 1 too.

At home. Still in love.

P.s: Don't worry. I only eat desserts that are suitable for vegetarian and no alcohol added. For those who are planning to come to Dublin and chilling out at any nice cafes here, please do not order Irish coffee since they put liquor. Not all cafe have Irish coffee, though.