Lately I have been very slow with writing other than medical case report (and twitter for some reasons). When I say lately, I mean since my fourth year in medical school sucked the life out of me. Some part of me want to keep this blog and another part of me want to give it up. Well, here I am again after what, 6 months? I miss this space. I do miss writing about how shitty my life is or how lucky I am sometimes. This space used to be the place for me to express my anger or to convey message to some people ( because for someone with 'social phobia' like me, confronting people is a big no no!) I decided to stop writing here, first, because sometimes revealing too much information about my life make me feel uncomfortable. It hit me hard when my best friend told me that she actually did not expect that I have a blog since she knew me as a very private person. "Hello, you can't even share a room with other people," she said. Well, good luck for my future husband. I'm gonna be a pretty strict 'roommate'.
The second reason is, my study. Oh my God (read this with a valley girl accent)! Ask any students in any medical schools, 4th year in medical school is the hardest one. Ok, fine, maybe some medical schools are different but for my medical school, 4th year is a hell year. There, I say it. It was one crazy year! 5 different specialities for 7 weeks each with exam at the end of each rotation and 3 week long final exam for all 5 specialities at the end of the year. To juniors, stop putting up status on facebook saying '4th year, please be nice to me' or ' I can't wait to be a 4th year medical student' because they won't be nice to you. I dont want to spread negative vibes or whatsoever but just be prepared. Anyhow, Alhamdulillah, I passed my 4th year exams. It is indeed a hard year but for me this is the beginning of your career in this field. It shapes your personality and what doctor you are going to be in future. I cried, I laughed, I screamed throughout my 4th year. It was hard but hey, it is not going to get easier than this in future.
Oh well, it's good to be able to write here again even though I wonder if people still read this blog.
p.s: I'm all excited and anxious at the same time to prepare for my big day. Wish me luck!